Perfect Moment

Do you wish you could return to a moment from the past?

Many people want to return to a moment in the past to change it. They’re embarrassed of something they did or they wish they had made better choices. I don’t think I’d want to go back to a bad moment. I try not to let regret eat me up and I believe strongly in learning from your mistakes. No, I’d want to go back to a good moment – a happy moment. I’d want to relive a moment that was perfect. That feeling is something I would like to carry with me for the rest of my life.

Lately my life has had a lot of emphasis on starting the college process. In the past few months I’ve had to do a lot of self-reflection. Many aspects of my life have changed as I grow up and in general as I prepare on moving on to a different part of my life I’ve had to prioritize. Out of all of the things that I do, I’ve had to choose the things that are the most important to me.

One year ago today, was the opening night of The Sound of Music at Uni. I was a nervous wreck before the start of the show. This was my first major role ever and I had no idea if I could handle it. I felt like if I messed up I would ruin the show for everyone. I sought comfort in one of my fellow actors. He held me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said to me “You are going to do great. You are so talented and you’ve practiced. You know this. So just have fun.” And that was all it took. The show went amazingly. In the curtain call, Maria is the last to bow. That was one of the proudest moments of my life. I was so proud to see all of the people I had worked with for months waiting for me and being happy for my accomplishment. I was so proud to be able to create something so beautiful. I was proud that I had made all of those people in the audience feel something, enough to make them clap for all of us. I was proud that my family could see that I was doing what I loved. I felt empowered because it seemed that the person that doubted me the most was myself and I had proved that it was possible to do something great.

This feeling is something that I wish I could re-live every time I have self-doubt. You learn quickly that not everything you do is going to be good and that you can’t win every time. That day taught me that I have so many people in my life that want to help me as much as I want to help them. I really don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I might decide to keep making music or maybe I’ll choose a different path. But I do know that the thing that is the most important to me is to be proud of what I do.